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matt13185
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read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: matt
Birthday: 10/31/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: Euphonium, marching band, most girls i have kissed say i know how to kiss very very well, does that count?
Expertise: Euphonium, marching band, most girls i have kissed say i know how to kiss very very well, does that count?
Occupation: Unemployed/Between Jobs
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/10/2004
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http://www.ccdominoes.com/lc/LooseChangeGuide.html
If you believe the US government planned the 9/11 attacks you should get a fucking clue.
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So far summer has been treating me quite well. Although Mentor is
no Columbus, it still is a fun place to hang out. It will be nice to
relax for a few months. Speaking of relaxing, my job is easier than
ever. In my free time at work, (the entire time I'm there) I have been
attempting to compile a top ten list of my favorite albums. Since I
worked for an entire week, I expanded it to a top 25. So now, I present
it here for you to read and disagree with.
#25 The Magical Mystery Tour by The Beatles (1967)
The more psychedelic follow-up album to Sgt. Pepper includes timeless classics like Penny Lane, Strawberry Fields Forever, Hello Goodbye, and I am the Walrus.
Unlike Sgt. Pepper, every song on this album is good. It's very light
listening and it always puts me in a good mood. Great album.
#24 Blonde on Blonde by Bob Dylan (1966)
Bob
Dylan is awesome. Blonde on Blonde contains a few of his bigger
mainstream hits and about 10 other solid songs. His Grammy winning 1998
album Time Out of Mind would be an honorable mention for this list.
#23 Marquee Moon by Television (1977)
Television was a late 70's garage band that was virutally unheard of
until the release of their first major album, Marquee Moon. The
influences heard in this album range from the Rolling Stones to the
minimalist composition style of Phillip Glass. Lots of good rockin
songs on this album. Check it out for sure.
#22 The Colour and the Shape (1997)
After
the fall of the grunge music in the US, there wasn't really any good
American music left. In 1997, the Foo Fighters put out one of the only
solid American albums in the 90's, giving an answer to boy bands and
pop punk. Unlike the Foo Fighter's debut album, hits like Monkey Wrench and My Hero
got a good amount of playtime, and the record had good sales. The Foo
Fighters are currently the only good American rock band that gets radio
playtime.
#21 Kid A by Radiohead (2000)
After the enormous comercial and critical success of
their previous album, OK Computer, Radiohead shocked all of their fans
with a completely different sound. The album debuted at #1 on the
Billboard, and remains the only Radiohead album to acheive that feat.
The ambient sounding songs and the cryptic lyrics make this album a
great listen.
#20 Be Here Now by Oasis (1997)
The third album by Oasis debuted at #1 on the US and UK
charts completely dominating the britpop rivalry between Oasis and
Blur. Aside from the one mainstream hit Stand by Me this album was a new style of music for the band. Oasis. In Noel Gallagher's opinion, "It's the sound of 5 men in a studio, on coke, not giving a fuck." Although this ablum got lousy reviews and has many varying opinions amongst the music community, I think it kicks ass.
#19 MACHINA/The Machines of God (2000)
The last release by Billy Corgan and the Smashing
Pumpkins is their least familiar and one of their best albums. It was
Corgans only successful attempt at writing a concept album dealing with
the relationships between Billy Corgan and many different people in his
life including the band, producers, and God. This album rocks pretty
hard.
#18. Tommy by the Who (1969)
Another concept album. The Who's first really awesome
release tells the story of a deaf dumb and blind pinball player.
Everything about this album is good and the live performance is even
better.
#17 Physical Graffiti by Led Zeppelin (1975)
The last successful Led Zeppelin album, and its a double! Every song is good. Includes legendary songs like Kashmir, Custard Pie and Ten Years Gone. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones, and John Bonham are probably the hardest rocking band ever.
#16 Ten by Pearl Jam (1991)
TTI was thinking about making Ten number 10, but I think
that would ruin the validity of my countdown. This is Pearl Jam's first
and best album. On an unrelated note, the name Pearl Jam is supposedly
named after a peyote laced jam that Eddie Vedder's aunt Pearl used to
make for the band. The name Ten is in honor of their favorite
basketball player, Mookie Blaylock, who wore #10.
#15 Exile on Main Street by The Rolling Stones (1972)
This is the only Rolling Stones album I decided to put in my countdown.
It isn't their most famous, and has no major hits on it. However, this
72 double album is full of kick ass songs that only add to how awesome
the Stones truly are.
#14 Revolver by The Beatles (1966)
This pick may be a
subject for arguement for some. Revolver is a solid mix of the earlier
and later Beatles. This was the Beatles first solid album, and the
beginning of their experimentation with new styles and techniques. This
album was a transition between the new and old Beatles, and every song
on it kicks ass.
#13 Who's Next by The Who (1971)
This album starts off with Baba O'Riley and ends with Wont Get Fooled Again. The
songs in between are all good too. The remastered version added 7 more
good tracks. There isn't really much to say, this is just a solid
album.
#12 Funhouse by The Stooges (1970)
Iggy Pop and the Stooges were a perfect example of a band
that was far ahead of its time. This album stripped away every flashy
element of sixties and seventies rock and left behind a raw, in your
face genre of music that has inspired almost every punk, grunge and
heavy metal band that preceded them. If you haven't checked out this
album yet, get on it. It's outstanding.
#11 Back in Black by ACDC (1980)
This album is the only album from the 80's on my list.
Thats because the 80's were awful. I consider Back in Black to be the
last good album of 70's rock and the best thing to come out of
Australia since the word didgerydoo. This is some of the greatest
drinking and party music of all time. I wanted to put the lightning
bolt in the title but i couldn't find it on the keybord. ACzDC?
#10 Meloncollie and the Infinate Sadness by The Smashing Pumpkins (1995)
The Smashing Pumpkins are either loved or hated by most
of the music enthusiasts that I know. I think they rock really hard and
write cool music, but that's just me. This is by far their best album.
#9 Nevermind by Nirvana (1991)
Finally! I have a good excuse to put a picture of a
baby's penis on my xanga! Cobain claimed that if you are offended by
the cover, you're a closet pedophile. Cobain also was very mentally
unstable and died in a tragic hunting accident while shooting up H in
his house. This album is 12 straight tracks of solid rock. Cobain may
have been crazy, but he wrote damn good music.
#8 "The White Album" by The Beatles (1968)
This is one of the greatest collections of random songs
ever released. Many of the songs were written during the Beatles stay
in India. This album covers the full spectrum of British rock in the
sixties including pop, blues, rock, proto-heavy metal, and the strange
Pink Floyd like Revolution #9. The widely popular song Hey Jude was originally intended to be on The White Album, but was instead released as a single with Revolution.
#7  by Led Zeppelin (1971)
If you were not aware, that is the actual title of this
album. Each symbol represented a different member of the band (Jones,
Page, Bonham, Plant). The album later came to be known as Led Zeppelin
IV, Zoso, and Four Symbols. This album is eight of the best songs I've
ever heard
#6 (What's the Story) Morning Glory by Oasis (1995)
This is a great album that has a few of my all time
favorites on it. Oasis was the leader of the Brit Pop movement in the
nineties. This was the first good album I ever bought, and I've loved
Oasis ever since. They rock live and the studio music kicks ass too. If
you don't like Oasis, you can go to hell.
#5 Abbey Road by The Beatles (1969)
After
doing this whole thing, I'm wondering why I did commentary on every
album. I really don't know very much about music anyway. All I know is
what I like and what sounds good. This album sounds good.
#4 Urban Hymns by The Verve (1997)
This You may not have heard this album yet. If not,
listen to it. It is a masterpiece. The album is the story of a
common man in a dissapointing life who is only trying to get by and try
to find some peace and happiness. The Verve used a full orchestra in
the recording of this album. Plus it's trippy as hell. So thats good.
Random sentence fragments.
#3 Definately Maybe by Oasis (1994)
Definately Maybe was the beginning of the Brit Pop
movement, which just so happens to be my second favorite movement in
the nineties right behind the macarena. Even if you don't like Oasis,
you probably should like this album anyways.
#2 OK Computer by Radiohead (1997)
Not gonna lie, this is a pretty good album. It blows my
mind that I didn't start listening to radiohead until about a year ago.
Man, I sure was missing out. This album makes numerous references to
1984 and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. The outerspacey sound to the
album gives it a futuristic feel. And by the way, the songs all blow
your mind.
#1 Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd (1973)
There
you have it. My favorite album of all time. Not only does Dark Side
have stunning music, but it also deals with some of the most real and
important issues in everyone's life, such as death, time, war, money,
and insanity. It provides realistic views on life that speak louder to
me than any other record I have heard. The album also has a lot of
mystique behind it. The album lines up perfectly with the first 37
minutes of The Wizard of Oz if the album is started precisely at the
third roar of the MGM lion. I've done it, and it is one of the most
unbelievable things I have ever seen. A lot of times, a premade version of this can be found on youtube, but as of right now, there are only clips availiable.
Anyways, theres all of my opinions. Now tell me how wrong they are. Ready....GO!
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| - Zen Archer
I didnt watch the Grammys last night. I didn't feel like it. Nobody
good ever wins anything anyways. I looked over all of the people
nominated for each major category, and I decided that there was no
possible outcome that would make me happy. The perfomances piss me off,
the cheesy teleprompted presenters piss me off, and the thank you
speeches piss me off more. I've actually become so mad at the grammys
in past years that I've thrown things at the tv. I mean, not hard
things...like rocks and stuff...soft things, .like pillows....or my
socks...or stuff like that. Anyways. This year I checked a few reliable
online sources to find out who won what awards afterwords, and I was
not at all surprised to see that I hated everyone who won anything.
U2 won best album. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. If you've listened to this album, and you really like it, here's what I recommend. Go online and steal two albums. Boy, and Joshua Tree.
This is what U2 used to sound like before they started sucking. Back
when they used to have a cause behind their music. But then the cause
was resolved, and they had nothing important to write about. If you
check out these albums and still think the new album is good, please do
the world a favor and don't have children.
Green Day won best song. Why did this happen? Nobody knows. Here is an interesting analogy for you.
Greenday : Punk Rock :: Van Halen : Heavy Metal.
There is always that one band that takes something awesome, and
commercializes it into pop music. Van Halen opened the door for
hair metal and eighties rock, which as most of you know are the lowest
form of rock that was ever created.....until emo. Green Day has opened
the door for hundreds of 3 chord "punk" shows that are ultimately
ruining rock just like Van Halen ruined the eighties. Give them a
fucking Grammy. Don't argue with me, I'm right.
The biggest dissapointment of the night was Kelly Clarkson winning
anything. I've never really listened to her new or old ablum, so I
can't make an accurate judgement, but I can give you some fun Kelly
Clarkson facts! (these are all true and found on my friend
wikipedia.com)
1. Kelly's only success before being on Idol was appearing on one episode of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch"
2. Before winning the competition, Kelly was a telemarketer. Everyone hates telemarketers.
3. Upon winning the competition, Clarkson told the Ft. Worth Star Telegram: "Look at me. I'm from Texas and I'm white." Clearly she hates Mexicans.
4. Kelly cites her musical inspirations as Jimi Hendrix, Steve Perry
and Aretha Franklin. All of these influences come out clearly in her
recent hit song "Since U Been Gone"
5. If you search Wikipedia for "worst films ever made" you will find her 2003 masterpiece "From Justin to Kelly" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Films_considered_the_worst_ever#Musicians_and_musicals
6. Kelly Clarkson killed Jesus.
So I thought you'd like to know that.
If I was in charge of the Grammys, it would go something like this:
So it turns out that people of pop culture these days don't like
anything that I like. So to please them the most, I have compiled a
show full of things that annoy me. Here goes!
Open curtain.
First off, the host would be Chris Berman. He would be dressed in
bondage and doing an impression of Lil John the entire show. Instead of
making jokes in his opening monolouge, he would read scripture from the
book of Leviticus and then sacrafice a goat.
After the monolouge, there would be an entire hour of commercials for tampons.
The first live act would clearly be Jason Mraz performing Mr. A-Z using
another man's genitals as the microphone. The backup dancers would all
be illegal immigrants.
The first award would be for best male vocalist, and it would go to
Flava Flav for his show on MTV where he gets paid to make an ass of
himself. During the acceptance speech, he thanks Martin Luther King and
invites him to come onstage for a bow.
The next award would be for best female vocalist, and it would go to Terri Schiavo for her work on her latest album, "Mrruupphhmm (Kill me please)" Her
acceptance speech would last 20 minutes and she would only say 4 words.
Then she would die and she would be eaten onstage by rats and Lindsay
Lohan. Soon after her husband would get married onstage to a mail order
bride from Korea.
The next live act would be a tribute to Frank Sinatra sung by Carrot
Top and Rosie O'Donnel. At the end of "Love and Marriage" Rosie gives
birth to a lesbian baby into Carrot Top's mouth.
Before the big awards start, the cast of Mad TV does a comedic parody of "The Diary of Anne Frank"
Best song goes to Black Eyed Peas. My Humps. During the exceptance
speech, Fergie unsuccessfully tries to convince people that she's
attractive. Then she pees her pants....again.
Ashlee Simpson lip sincs to a song sung by a man....a nobody really notices.
Best album goes to the American Idol Season Four Soundtrack. Simon
Cowell accepts the awards, and insults lesser beings to the delight of
the audience. Paula Abdul could not make it too the show since she was
out inciting a scandal for publicity. Randy Jackson is overly proud to
be black.
Now for the grand finale. Kanye West comes onstage with an entourage of
homeboys and sings about Jesus while pissing on a portrait of John
Lennon. He is later joined by Fall Out Boy, Madonna and Donald
Trump to do a charming rendition of Ring of Fire in honor of the death
of Johnny Cash 2 years ago. To end the show Kayne hangs himself on a
cross and dies actually believing that he granted everyone salvation.
Everyone in the audience recieves a gift bag package that contains a 20$ Applebees Gift card, a dead kitten and a handgun.
So thats about it. Hell I'd watch it! What do you think?
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| - lady stardust
Recently an issue has come to my attention that has gotten me so riled
up that I decided to write my congressman. I just put the following
letter in the mail. Hopefully you will agree with my cause.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a college student attending the Ohio State
University which is apparently located in your district. I don't know
you name, sex, or political party. If I had the motivation to look that
up, I probably would've done other stuff, like voting in the election
that put you in office, or putting pants on today. Anyways, I usually
don't get stirred up by political issues, I feel that President Gore is
doing a fine job running our nation and that the war in Afghanistan was
totally cool. I dont care whether they had WD4's or not, sometimes
people cause trouble and you have to use nukes. Anyways, I'd like to
let you know whats on my mind.
Today I went into my local Kroger to pick up a naturally brewed case of
my favorite beverage when I noticed something was out of the ordinary.
The sign that normally would proudly read, "Natural Light, Special
Price $8.99!" was replaced by a regular price tag that said 10.49. Now
I did the math, and that is roughly a 1.50 raise in the price of beer.
Now I figured that maybe Kroger was just having hard times and had to
raise the price. So I went to other local beer distributers, and to my
surprise, it turns out that prices have been raised all across the
nation (or at least just my campus, once again, I didnt look it up).
Now, I know the good people at Natural Light brewing co. would never
raise the prices on their faithful customer, so I'm assuming that this
is your fault. This is what the early American's referred to as
"taxation without representation." I do not recall the bill on the last
election that asked whether beer prices should be raised, because I'm
pretty sure nobody would want that! Everyone loves beer, and you are a
rabid cocksucker.
Beer is an absolutely essential element to college life. Without beer,
the whole world of college will come crashing down until all that is
left are a few librarys and an establishment of tradition and higher
learning...and who wants that? Without beer, how could frat guys get
laid? How could frustrated young men build up the courage to punch
walls or pee on cars? How could girls with low self image make up for
their low self esteem by whoring themselves out? And more importantly,
what would we put in our mugs, steins, bongs, and beer pong games? The
answer is certainly not Fanta. Now I know that beer hasn't been
outlawed. But by raising the price you have decreased my buying
potentials and possibly forced me to get a job while struggling through
14 credit hours spread over 3 and half days. We will not, oh no, we CAN NOT STAND FOR THIS!
I
have a dream that one day this
nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We
hold these brews to be consumed, and that all men are created thirsty."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Columbus the sons of
former alchoholics and the sons of former slutty girls will be able to
sit
down together at a bar of drunkeness. I have a dream that one day
even the state of Ohio, a desert state, sweltering with the heat
of sobriety and law enforcement, will be transformed into an oasis of
barley and hops. I have a dream that my four children will one day
live in a nation where they will not be judged by their tolerance but
by the consistancy of their vomit. I have a dream today.
I do have a dream. It involves me sitting in a jacuzzi with a 24
of Natty Lite and two delicious .69 cent burritos that I bought with
the money I saved on beer. But that will never happen because you
arrogant, government pig dogs have raised my beer prices and made laws
that say I can't have a jacuzzi in a 50 sq. foot apartment. I am so mad
I could shit a flaming brick of civil disobedience. If Ghandi were
here, he would protest so hard his ribs would pop through his leathery
hide. I have two words for you sick bastards. BOSTON TEAPARTY.
Thats right. Me and a crew of my fellow drinking enthusiasts will be
raiding the next Natural Light ship that comes here to port in Columbus
and dumping all of the contents into the Olentangy river. And by river
I mean all over my body. And by body I mean naked body. You get the
picture. Me. Naked. Drunk. Protest.
Beware.
For when the citizens sober up, they will stop being happy. And when we
stop being happy, we start doing homework. At this point we might learn
enough to overthrow you and your stupid congress. Then who is to stop
us?
Swing
low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home..
I
looked over Jordan and what did I see
Coming for to carry me home
A band of angels coming after me
Coming for to carry me home
Respectfully, Matthew X
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| - Cloud Nine
Prelude : In
about November, me and Nick Babika tried to make a website called
"Troutworld" full of our hilarities. Sadly, we forgot about it, and
Nicks cartoon strip, "Ponies", was not as funny to everyone else as it
was to us. The website was never circulated and it was forgotten. Today
I was going through some saved documents, and I located this Troutworld
article that I wrote after an extremely upsetting and frustrating
encounter that I had that day in math class. It gave me a good chuckle,
and I hope it will tickle your funny bone as well. Enjoy!
Once upon a time in my math class I met this kid who was a douche bag.
No, really. I mean a huge douche. I actually don’t think its
possible for me to dislike someone as much as I dislike this kid. One
time this kid popped his collar so hard, he got whiplash. Now, I
immediately assumed that he was in a frat, because it’s a well known
fact that OSU frats produce more douchebags than any other major
establishment. However, it turned out he was associated with a
different type of douche factory. OUAB. If you aren’t familiar with the
acronym, it stands for Ohio Union Activities Board. To give you an idea
of how lame that is, go way back in time to your college orientation
visit. Remember all of those faggot games that you had to play and and
all of the stupid shit they told you about that you knew you would
never use? OUAB. They did that to you. Well, I don’t know for sure, but
I think so.
But yeah, that was a huge waste of my time. When I was tossing the
beach ball around with a group of random people and a questionably gay
orientation leader, I got so mad that I tossed the ball into someone’s
face and broke every bone in their body. Twice. Then I took a dump on
the floor just because I felt like it. Yeah, I’m the coolest.
But anyways, this kid. I don’t have any real pictures of him, so I drew one.
Notice a few key douchebag elements. Popped pink Hollister polo. One of
those fat leatherish bracelets that serves no real purpose...its just
kinda there. Two livestrong bracelets surrounding a red OSU
Buckeyestrong bracelet. Messenger bag. Fake tan. A slave to fashion and
consumerism. But the funniest part is, while most typical male MTV
prototypes are either awkwardly thin or bulging with upper body
strength, this guy has the physique of a walrus. He is fat. Just
thought I’d point that out. But I can 100% guarantee that he is a
douchebag.
Most douche bags can’t stop bragging about the fucking awesome parties
they go to with four hundred slutty freshmen girls, and how this one
time they bonged a bottle of 180 proof whiskey and chased it with
gasoline. It seems like all they can talk about is drinking and how
they are pretty much the most legendary drinker of all time. Well
Douchebag did brag about drinking, girls and parties; but he also
pissed me off more by stepping it up a notch.
He bragged about how smart he was too. While I was having a very normal
conversation about the Fisher College of Business with a guy in my
class who wasn't a douche, Douchebag leans over and says to me, “Dude,
you had trouble in CS&E? I passed that class with an A+ and I never
went to lecture. In my math 131 class, the median grade on the
final was 28, and there was NO CURVE I got an 88 though so it was
cool.”
When he made that claim, I asked him who his prof was, and he said,
“Uh, some old foreign dude, I forgot his name.” Ok sure, I believe
that. And by the way Douchebag, last spring I had a math class where
hookers sucked pure cocaine off my erect penis and I was the only one
that got an A because the prof was a hot 26 year old Russian dominatrix
and I crammed her Kremlin everyday during office hours.
Right.
But seriously, this kid. So after he pissed me off by showing off his
Einsteinesque intelligence and his drinking tolerance that rivaled
Andre the Giant, this perfect stranger, whom I’ve never met before,
found a way to make me hate him more. He started bragging about being
involved with OUAB. This particular day, he was carrying an OUAB
folder, which he displayed proudly on his desk after sliding it out of
his eighty dollar messenger bag. Turns out, Douchebag was actually one
of the main people in charge of bringing free concerts to OSU. He
started bragging to me about how he had dealt with the PR reps of some
of the biggest names in the music industry, and blah blah blah. Then he
aks, “Dude, did you go see Luda and Twista two summers ago?” “ I’m only
on my second year here,” I replied. Douchebag looks at me and says,
“Ohhhhh. I see. Well, I’m a senior.”
Hmm. I’m now going to use my magical powers of reasoning to make fun of
him more. I’m a sophomore, and he’s a senior. We’re chatting here
before the beginning of Math 132, which is a low level math class that
is generally taken by Freshmen. I failed a prerequisite for it last
year, so here I am taking it fall quarter. But, a senior...still in
this class...wait dude, I thought you were a genius. Whoops, guess not.
Douchebag.
So heres the part where I zone out for awhile and let some other
douchebag talk to him about how fucking sweet Twista is. So then after
they talk crap music for awhile, I hear him ask the other guy, so what
band would you like to see come play at the big free concert this year?
Kid says, “Dude, get Eminem.” So douchebag looks at me and says, anyone
you wanna see? I said, “Doesn’t matter who you get, I probably wont
go.” He kind of chuckles, and leans in close. “Well get this dude.”
says Douche, “We might be getting a really BIG act this year.” I don’t
reply, but he incorrectly assumes I’m interested. “Dude, fuckin’ BON
JOVI.”
HOLY SHIT!!! BON JOVI!!! My excitement was overflowing. I can
hardly put into words how excited I was. Lets just say, that if I ever
got to see Bon Jovi in concert, my hard-on would be so big that Jon Bon
Jovi would mistake it for the microphone and sing into it. I mean, Bon
Jovi pretty much revolutionized Rock forever when they made one
mediocre album in the mid eighties with a few pathetic mainstream hits
on it. And not only is Jon Bon Jovi a rock star, he’s also a crappy
actor. What more could a 2006 college student ask for than a washed up
80's act with less talent than sack of dog shit? How bout a beer and a
vanirial disease.
Douchebag.
I just kinda looked at him, and said, “Uh, sweet.” And looked away. He
stayed quiet for about 30 seconds, and then he says, “Get into any
trouble this weekend?”
Trouble? Well lets see, first I got high on crack and stole a Mercedes
Benz and ran it into an abortion clinic. I kidnapped five or six
pregnant underage girls and raped them all while parked sideways across
three handicapped parking spots. Then I littered. But not really any
trouble. Actually, I didn’t even answer him.
“Well,” he says “I was at this frat party with some girls from my dorm”
Wait. Wait. Hold on. Yeah, he said dorm. Douchebag is a senior who lives in a dorm. Ok, back to the story.
“So this one girl has a friend who’s a sophomore from Baker West. So I
was hangin out with her all night, and she's a little slut so I'm
pretty much guaranteed some pussy. I figured that since she’s a
sophomore from Baker, she must know how to drink right? Well, lets just
say this, sometimes I forget that not everyone can drink as much as me.
So I’ve had like 15 beers and like 4 shots and I’m still good to go.
She’s had about half of that, but she fell down the stairs and broke
her wrist. So I waited with her until the ambulance came and I helped
her talk to the police. The worst part is, I didnt even get laid! But I
got her number, so it was cool.”
I don't even know where to start. There are so many red flags of
douchery in the above paragraph that I'd waste all of your time if I
ranted about them. I wont patronize your intelligence by pointing them
out to you.
Right after he finished this story, the TA began class. On the way out
he said, "Later buddy," to me, and I once again didnt reply. If this
fat pile of douche ever talks to me again, I'm probably gonna infect
myself Scarlet Fever so I can be like Helen Keller and never have to
hear him again. Fuck.
If you know anything about anything, you know that this kid’s a
douchebag. After having this kid sit next to me a few times, I’ve
compiled a list of things that everyone needs to do.
1. Don’t live in the dorms after your freshman year. Some situations or schools
may require a sophomore year in dorms, but please, just get out and get
a life.
2. Be yourself. And no, that doesn’t mean dress how magazines tell you to.
3. Don’t try to impress me. I wont believe your bullshit.
4. Stop listening to Bon Jovi
5. Stay as far away from OUAB and the Ohio Union as possible, unless a life or death situation arises
6. Skip math class
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